A client of mine recently asked me “what is it to live on purpose?” What I understood him to mean was how does one live in such a way as to be aligned with a purpose and know when we are off track. “Well,” I replied, ‘that’s a great question. Thank you for asking that” as I sought to buy time to formulate my answer. “Basically, the idea of living on purpose is living in alignment with what your lifetime is intended for that you’ve established for yourself. It’s the ability to have awareness of where you are in the moment, what you’ve been doing, and what’s been driving you. And if you find you’re off track, it’s having the ability to change in the moment.”
Phew. That answer sounds great. But I realized as soon as I said it that I had a lot more explaining to do. Some of these phrases I use in my everyday language may not be readily understood by my clients or readers. Take for instance the use of ‘awareness of where you are in the moment.’ I’m assuming the reader knows that I am referring to their current state of being-the feelings, thoughts, and emotions-that describe how we are showing up in the moment. For instance, we may be elated and bubbling over with good vibrations or we may be disturbed by a sense of foreboding about the future. Another option is being content where we are in the day and enjoying the peace of having nothing to worry about.
Defining Our Purpose
But before you can talk about purpose, you need to know what your purpose is. That is, you have to define it for yourself. The beauty of it is that no one else can do it for you. The only rule is it has to be something that lights you up, that feels right, that gets you excited. It’s something with the power to get you out of bed in the morning and maybe even work long hours to see a project through. Something that you would gladly share with another if they asked but you are perfectly okay with keeping to yourself. And it doesn’t have to be complex or specific. For instance, it could be merely to extend love, to master a difficult craft, to be a consistently reliable source of peace for one’s family, or to help one’s clients identify unrealized value.You get to say and there are no wrong answers!
Our Purpose is Forever Malleable
Our purpose can change over time. Since we are the ones who get to say what our purpose is, we can change it at any time. For instance, a young parent may understand their purpose is to raise children. But over time that child grows older and no longer needs so much of the parent’s time and energy. It would be appropriate for that parent to define a new purpose or have multiple purposes while still maintaining a role for parenting. Following a divorce or major relationship change, one person’s purpose may shift to spiritual pursuits such as deepening self-awareness, exploring creative passions long ignored, and building an independent life rich with self-respect and personal authenticity. A successful entrepreneur may spend the later decades of their life pursuing community oriented goals motivated by a strong sense of gratitude for all that contributed to their success in the first place.
Knowing When We Are Off-Track
The key to living on purpose is to know when we are off-track. This requires us to assess our current way of showing up in the world and determining what is driving our experience. When we are living on purpose, we tend to feel useful and that our time has been used in a worthwhile way. We feel that we accomplished something at work and we’re proud of what we’ve done. Living out of alignment with our purpose has the opposite outcome. We often feel exhausted from the tasks of daily living like work or being with our family. If we’re blaming other people for our difficulties-the boss, the politicians, the neighbors, the kids who don’t listen-we’re not living from our purpose. This is a victim’s point of view and is especially disempowering.
The Effect of Living on Purpose for a Long Time
The beauty of living aligned with a self-defined purpose over a long period creates a profound and enduring legacy, marked by continuous self-mastery and contribution. This sustained commitment is evidenced by an active cycle of defining and achieving goals, then consistently creating new ones or redefining existing objectives as understanding evolves. Crucially, this purposeful trajectory ensures a deep sense that our life was not meaningless; rather, it was a deliberate and valuable expenditure of energy. Reflecting on this time, we recognize that we used our time to grow in understanding as best we could, continually expanding competence and wisdom. The ultimate reward of such a life is the realization that we were not merely victims of the world’s random forces, but active agents who significantly impacted their surroundings, leaving behind a profound and quiet affirmation that we left the world a better place than we found it.