The term shadow work is all the rage these days. It seems like everywhere you look on social media someone is proclaiming the transformative power of shadow work. But what is shadow work, exactly, and what does doing shadow work entail?
Origins of the Persona and Shadow
The term “shadow work” is largely attributed to Swiss psychologist Carl Jung and involves the conscious exploration of the parts of our mind that have been suppressed but are still operating subconsciously. The construction of the shadow is best understood in terms of life development. As we grow up, all of us learn from our caregivers and surrounding community what’s acceptable to express, what ways of being get results, and what must be kept to ourselves. The parts that get results get put into our personality while anything unacceptable goes into the shadow.The persona, the collection of personality traits that allows us to function as we move into our adult years, becomes the side of ourselves we like to show the world. For instance, it might work for us to be bossy and cultivate a capacity for commanding others. It may work just as well for someone else to be carefree, always acting as-if there’s never anything to worry about.
Our need to survive
The key feature of all this persona making is that it is a construction born from the need to survive as individual identities. Many refer to this separate, individual self as the ego, the part of our mind that believes it has to make its own way in the world. What is disowned in the creation of the persona is placed in the subconscious “shadow” and stays there through the power of suppression. So the young boss may have learned that being kind to others leads to betrayal and suppresses any impulse to kindness. Our peace loving neighbor may have concluded that making requests of others only leads to disappointment and never lets themself be seen as angry or controlling.
The inevitable crisis
For most, the inadequacy of the persona becomes apparent sometime in mid-life, for no constructed personality is ever broad enough to meet the complex challenges of life. For instance, one can hardly expect to be content in life without having to be assertive at times. Moving through life without being open to kindness and love from others is hardly a life worth living. The tension of holding onto the seeming opposite qualities of the persona and shadow eventually lead to some form of crisis if the process of shadow integration is not taken on. This might show up as angry outbursts, disease, or freak accidents that seemingly come out of nowhere. The principle to observe is that the shadow aspects of our personality will always find a way to express, often in inconvenient and distressing ways.
Leaning in
So how do we integrate the shadow and what does this have to do with life coaching? We start by leaning into our triggers, those people and situations in our lives that make us uncomfortable and overwhelmed with emotion. We start considering why these situations have us on edge and how they connect to our shadow selves. We ask ourselves what we have disowned in ourselves that we’re seeing so starkly in others. Whatever attachment we had to the ideal side of ourselves we like to present to others begins to unravel and, almost needless to say, this process can be very humbling and at times distressing.
One common misconception that needs to be addressed is the belief that the shadow contains only the base or darker aspects of human nature. Certainly this is part of it. For instance, we may suppress rage or anger over perceived injustice in order to maintain a respectable outward appearance. But those darker aspects of human nature are only part of the picture. Integrating aspects of the shadow does not mean we will now be those qualities on a regular basis. It does mean that we can take ownership of all aspects of our personality that are already dominating our lives (like it or not) and be at peace with them. We learn to start feeling all our feelings and letting them be there, without judgement.
Freedom and Purpose
As we start making progress with integrating our shadow, we can expect an expanded sense of freedom as we start letting go of the past narratives that had us believe that life was only a certain way and, more importantly, that we ourselves are only a certain way. We begin to understand that there’s so much more for us to learn and so much more room to grow as we move on with what Jung called the process of individuation, or our Soul’s plan for full expression in this lifetime. With that awareness, we are likely to identify a larger purpose for our lives and experience a newfound joy in living.